Hymens Lænker.

”Der er jo ingen der siger, at vi behøver at bestille og pikke alt fra menukortet på én gang,” sagde Solsorten med hovedet på skrå, hvilket fik hans ord til at virke næsten plausible. ”Jeg mener i overført tilstand, forstås. Vi kan starte med at dele en regne-orm op i en halv snes stykker og så hyggepikke, mens vi vrider sagen og ser på de muligheder der kunne lægges i det.”

Lærken følte sig i syv sind. Selv om Solsorten var både smuk og beleven, var det jo sin sag at stifte familie med ham. Hun følte, det næsten var som et kragehop, og behøvede både tid og overvejelser, før hun eventuelt ville vinge ideen af. De havde kærligheden til fælles, og kærlighed går aldrig i for små sko. Den ænser næppe forskelle i art, køn eller sprog, og behøver derfor aldrig skohorn.  Men konspirationen var ganske interessant. Tænk at få unger med en sort af en art, der kunne fremvise et så pragtfuldt, gult næb. Sikke dog en redelighed. Ornitologen, som boede lige bag træerne ved den gule kornmark, som de begge følte, var deres matrikel, ville få et føl, hvis så fald ifremt en ny art pludselig gik på vingerne. Nu var hun ikke i stand til at fremvise et ordinært smil, da mundvigene var for stive, men begge hendes øjne udtrykte tydelige smil ved tanken.

”Og der skal være dansk stil over det,” fortsatte Solsorten. ”Vi flyver til Dværgen, ved sagnfuglen Rok’s næb-slibningsbjerg, og bliver smedet i Hymens Lænker. Han er den bedste Lænkesmed i miles omkreds, og han smeder de fineste, æteriske af slagsen, fugle kan bære. Så flyver vi til Hornuglen, som forretter det endelige forgiftningsmål. Han afslutter nemlig altid den slags med et Fadervor, og det kan jeg godt lide. Det varmer helt ud i svingfjerene, og så er der ingen køer på isen bagefter.

Katanjehesten har lært uglen at messe Fadervor på Volapyk, som han jo selv har studeret i sin grundform, og det vil uden tvivl medvirke til, at der, i første omgang i aller fald, kommer de smukkeste, æggeformede resultater ud af vores parforløb, for han kan meget mere end sit Fadervor. At nogle så eventuelt går til Rænkesmeden, fordi de får ondt i styrefjerene af vores forbehold, må de selv om. Hvis de vil ofre, hvad disse rænker egentlig koster dem, så lad dem dog spilde deres krudt, som de vil.”

Hornuglen var blevet adviseret af Solsorten om, at den sikkert snart skulle forgifte ham og hans udkårne. ”Hun er så smuk,” fortalte han uglen, ”og så er hun en rigtig Sanglærke… med X-faktor.”

Det kneb dog stadig for uglen at messe Fadervor udenad på Volapyk, så nu sad han igen, med sine hornbriller på næbbet, og øvede sig:

"O Fat obas, kel binol in süls!

Nem olik pasaludükonöd!

Regän ola kömonöd!

Vil olik jenonöd,

äsä in sül, i su tal!

Givolös obes adelo bodi aldelik obsik!

E pardolös obes döbotis obsik,

äsä i obs pardobs utanes, kels edöbons kol obs.

E no blufodolös obis,

ab livükolös obis de bad!" 

Han forstod udemærket, hvor vigtigt det var for Solsorten, at det gik rigtigt til, så han studerede sedlen med bønnen mange gange, lukkede øjnene og prøvede om han kunne memorere den i tankerne, og kiggede så atter. Sådan havde det været, siden han fik bønnen af Kastanjehesten, og Fadervor på Volapyk er ikke noget, man bare jabber af sig, for så bliver det let til det rene volapyk.

Og det er jo noget ganske andet.

Hymens chains

“Nobody says that we need to order and peck everything from the menu at once,” said Christian, the blackbird, with tilted head, which caused his words to seem almost plausible. “As a start we can peck an earthworm into a dozen pieces and then enjoy it while we wring the case and look at the opportunities that might be in it.”

Lara, the lark felt herself in two minds. Although Christian was both beautiful and courteous, it was indeed a challenge to start a family with him. She felt it was almost like a crow hop, and needed time and consideration before she would possibly give the idea a wing. They had the love in common, and love never goes in too small shoes. It did neither notice nor exaggerate the differences in species, sex or language, and therefore didn’t need shoehorn. It was also quite interesting. Think about getting kids with a species which is being able to show such a beautiful, yellow beak. The ornithologist who lived just behind the trees by the yellow cornfield, they both felt was their land, would shitting bricks if a new species suddenly went on the wings. Now she was not able to show an ordinary smile as corners of her mouth was too rigid, but both her eyes expressed clear smiles at the thought.

“And there shall be involved style,” continued Christian. “We will fly to the dwarf who lives in a cave under the legendary bird Rok’s beak grinding mountain, and being forged in the Hymen’s chains. He is the best chain smith for miles around, and forges the finest chains birds can carry. Then we fly to the great owl, as performs the final wedding ceremony. He includes namely always this kind of ceremony with the Lord’s Prayer, and I like that. It warms completely out in the flight feathers, and then there are no cows on the ice afterwards.”

The chestnut-horse have taught the owl the Lord’s Prayer at Volapyk, as he has studied in its basic form, and it will undoubtedly contribute to the most beautiful, egg-shaped results of our partnership for he knows much more than his Lord’s Prayer, so to speak. Some are possibly going to the wile smith because they get hurt in their control feathers by our relation. If they want to sacrifice what these wiles really cost them, so let them waste their ‘gunpowder,’ as they will.”

The owl had been advised of Christian that he probably soon should administer the wedding ceremony for him and his loved one. “Lara is so beautiful,” he told him, “and she is a real Skylark … with X-Factor.”

The trick, however, was still for the owl to say the Lord’s Prayer by heart at Volapyk, so now he sat with his horn-rimmed glasses on the beak, and practiced:

"O Fat obas, kel binol in süls!
Nem olik pasaludükonöd!
Regän ola kömonöd!
Vil olik jenonöd,
äsä in sül, i su tal!
Givolös obes adelo bodi aldelik obsik!
E pardolös obes döbotis obsik,
äsä i obs pardobs utanes, kels edöbons kol obs.
E no blufodolös obis,
ab livükolös obis de bad!"

He understood, how important it was for Christian that it went well, so he studied the note with the prayer written, many times, closed his eyes and tried if he could memorize it in his mind, and then looked again. It had been like that since he got the prayer of the chestnut-horse, and the Lord’s Prayer at Volapyk is not something you just jabber, else it easily becomes the pure ‘volapyk.’

And that is something quite different.