Thoughts before bedtime

When I was a kid, I thought all adults were “gods.” I saw them as faits “masters,” and knew they were there for me. Therefore, I was ashamed when I came into something, or when I found myself in something I not was proud to have thought or done.

If adults behaved inappropriately, as far as I could see, I thought it was to test me, but gradually diminished my faith in their infallibility. I saw, however, for several years, a common thread of wisdom in both appropriate as inappropriate responses because the adult’s “divinity” always shone through words and actions.

At a later stage, when I watched the adults, I impressed upon me that when I became an independent adult, I would never behave like “him or her,” because I could see that they had forgotten what they came from and why.

Then I was adult and behaved often stupid. I tried to remember what I had inculcated me. It was missed in parts, but not completely.

Now I am in the third age and begin to believe that the way I saw the adults and others as a child, as teachers, really was the right way of looking at life. And I must conclude that the only way I should behave myself on is the way that I thought the adults always did. Every child, and every other person should feel joy and consolation in the fact that the people who are mature of age, also are mature of mind and wise. It may be a big job, but it is absolutely necessary, even for one’s own sake, and the only thing to be aware of if you want to see yourself and your master in the eyes with joy without turning your eyes down and seek shelter in the dark.

Therefore, I try to “search to find” and I assume that there is no time to waste. Many established habits and inclinations may be edited, and one must look seriously at it. I believe in the words, “The truth shall make you free,” and having achieved this freedom, you don’t live after the ego’s irrational tendencies more where you are like sticky flypaper both bad and good hangs on, and it’s really reassuring to know that you should not be afraid to know your own self. It is also only because one continue to identify with the ego, until it succeeds as a “being born again,” where everything is as it was always meant to be, and it really was already and the veil is suddenly, or perhaps gradually, away from the eyes forever. When you realize that you have been walking around like a sleepwalker in the Garden of Eden, and seen scrawny spruce trees, which in fact was bountiful fruit trees, and you see that what you saw as beautiful could not compare with spiritual beauty, even how beautiful it was.

So here is an issue to follow, when you consider how much beauty you have experienced as a self-centered being, but you’re not always only egocentric. It should be borne in mind before any demeans anything. I think one should not belittle anything.

There is also a lot talk about to seize the present moment, and here I come to think of a surfer who must note the present wave to get the perfect trip. It is no use speculating on previous waves at the same time, they might have been successful or failed, if you want to do it perfect right now.